The Onion on JP Morgan’s “Rogue” Trader

Satire from the Onion

JPMorgan Loses $2 Billion

May 14, 2012  |                ISSUE 48•20

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon informed investors that a series of risky positions in synthetic credit securities had resulted in a $2 billion loss for the company. What do you think?

 

  • I like that crazy, freewheeling, shoot-from-the-hip style. I think I’ll get one of their debit cards.

    Keri Burns Systems Analyst

  • And just when I was falling in love with our nation’s commercial financial institutions again.

    Alex Hardesty Gas Leak Inspector

  • Double or nothing, Jamie! Otherwise, you’d better slink off to equities with all the other p#@sies.

    Richard Danziger Hedge Fund Manager

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